Tuesday, 23 February 2016

Thinking About Friendship with Fink Cards


Friendships can be really difficult for children. For some it can be so hard to express their feelings without hurting another child.  Grotbags is now 11 years old and struggles emotionally at times. I think this is more to do with the way she sees herself, than how others perceive her.  She constantly worries, is she wearing the right clothes,  will her friends like them or somebody said something that has obviously hurt her feelings. She longs to fit in and be like her friends but to me she is perfect the way she is and I think she is finally starting to realise her own individuality.



A lovely blogger called Becky Goddard-Hill from Emotionally Healthy Kids has devised a set of healthy friendship cards called Fink to encourage conversation around friendships.  There are four topics for discussion:
  • thinking about friendships you have
  • how to make friends
  • how to be a good friend
  • how to manage difficulties in friendships
These cards can be a really useful and powerful prompting tool in helping children of all ages to understand and express their feelings and emotions and can be used in a variety of settings either formally or informally.

Luckily for me Grotbags is quite open and will talk to me about anything and we often have meaningful discussions whilst I am cooking dinner. I know when something is bothering her as she will perch herself on the freezer and start telling me about her day.  Children can say some really hurtful things at times and she cannot understand why they do this.  Grotbags is quite sensitive and has had emotional issues in the past and it scares me to think we could end up 5 years in the past with the stresses of OCD tendencies that made her life a misery.  We finding talking is a great help and although I have never given her the answers, she listens carefully and figures things out in her own mind.

I wish there had been prompts like these available in the past as I am sure they would have helped with the problems we faced. I am so proud of the little lady she is becoming, caring, kind, considerate and willing to help anyone and I will continue to shower her with praise and nurture her until she is ready to flee the nest.

29 comments:

  1. Its really nice that you can easily have a conversation with your lil girl. Let this beautiful Mommy Daughter Friendship grow with years. Its important they grow up that way. So when there is something wrong in their life, they know they have a safe place to come to and ask for help..

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    1. Thank you for your lovely comment Bilna xx

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  2. Wow, these cards sound like a great idea - although, lovely that you have such a wonderful open relationship with your daughter anyway. Friendships can be such a minefield! It's hard enough as an adult, let alone as a child!

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    1. That is so true, some friendships can be hard work x

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  3. What a great idea these cards are. I also like how you are able to talk to your daughter fairly openly. Well done.

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  4. These sound really useful and could possibly help us out with some issues we are having at the moment! Angela from Daysinbed

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  5. These cards are such a lovely and good idea. It's great that you talk to ur daughter openly.

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  6. My daughter can be anxious too (she's too much like me). She's only five, but when she's older, I think she will benefit and will learn a lot from these friendship cards.

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    1. Oh bless her, it is so hard having a sensitive little girl x

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  7. My daughter tells me everything on the walk home from school. She also has SEAL lessons at school which focuses on social and emotional issues. I realise though it's not the same for every child and not all of them have someone they can talk to.

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    1. That is so true, not all children can deal with their emotions x

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  8. These cards are a great idea. Friendships can be so tricky at a young age and difficult to understand.

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    1. Friendships can be a mine field x

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  9. What a great idea these are and how brilliant that you can talk openly with your little girl. It can be so difficult at that age and I can see how these would work really well.

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  10. I think this is wonderful because friendships can be difficult when you are younger hell even adults have problems so this is great!

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    1. Thank you Ana, I know from being young myself how hard life can be x

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  11. This is a great idea - children can often need an aid to encourage talking about their feelings and what's going on in their world and the Fink cards could be very helpful to some.

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    1. We must encourage children to talk, so many suffer in silence x

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  12. This is such a lovely idea, friendships are so important, especially close friends rather than just numbers on Facebook x

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  13. These cards look such a good idea - my daughters have more friendship issues than my son. Luckily we are all very close and talk about it. Kaz x

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    1. It is really good you can talk to you daughter Kaz x

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  14. I think the important piece is that she knows she can speak to you about anything and you listen to her not many have that kind of relationship.

    Anosa

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  15. These sound like such a great idea

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  16. As a father of four I can see the value in these cards. It gets kids thinking about their own actions as well, and how they may influence others. I'm really impressed with this idea. Cheers for highlighting it.

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