I was distraught when my first marriage broke down and the only thing that I lived for was my boys who were 1, 3 and 5 years at the time. I felt lonely, let down and so depressed as I lived in a tiny village with no other young mums around me and there was no support network available. My GP at the time prescribed sleeping tablets to help me but how could I take those with a 1 year old, these were flushed down the toilet. My eldest boy suffered due to the breakdown of our marriage and was emotionally damaged and found it difficult to cope with what was happening around him, I blamed myself for this as he had gone through so much previously with the perthes disease. I found myself struggling to make ends meet as I could not work (no child minders, after school clubs) and buses only ran every two hours. All I cared about was my boys and I often went without food just so they had decent meals. The boys never went without, they were always well dressed and given all the love I had, I never even thought about another relationship for years. Looking back I wish I could have given them a better start in life, I feel I failed them in a lot of ways but I was young and determined to change things for their sakes.
When my youngest started school I enrolled at college full time and studied a secretarial course, passing all my exams with flying colours. I then gained employment part time with my local council and I started to turn our lives around, it was so surreal having money to buy some little luxuries for us and having a little extra for days out.
Over the last few weeks I have seen single mums who have suffered a breakdown in relationships and I just want to say 'hang on in there because things will change', maybe not today or tomorrow but things will get easier.....
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